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There’s a moment early on in Modelland, the one and only novel by Tyra Banks, when the newest graduates of Modelland are introduced to the world. These “Intoxibellas” are superpowered supermodels: There’s Evanjalinda, who can shapeshift; Simone, who can multiply; Bev Jo, who never ages past 30; Leemora, whose power is “the ability to sell”; Sinndeesi, who wields the power of “Seduksheeon”; Katoocha, who can see the future of fashion; and Exodus, who can teleport.

It was at this moment, somewhere between the words “Evanjalinda” and “Seduksheeon,” that I began to question what the hell I was doing with my life. As I caught myself considering if the name Exodus implies that Modelland exists in a world with Abrahamic religions, I paused. Had I finally lost my mind? Had Modelland consumed me, much like the giant monster made of human limbs and musical instruments that lives in the Great Divide? (We’ll get to that.) Even scarier: Why couldn't I put it down?

Let’s back up. Last week, Delacorte Press reissued Modelland, Tyra’s long out-of-print 2011 YA novel about an awkward girl who is plucked from her miserable life to attend a magical supermodel school on top of a mountain. Back in 2011, Tyra put her everything into it, even dedicating an episode of America’s Next Top Model to it. (She also, I guess, hopped on GarageBand and recorded the most haunting “song” I’ve ever heard.) Still, the book was an enormous flop.

Recently, though, thanks to Gen Z’s love of camp, this dystopian novel (and that dang song) has gone viral on TikTok, hence the reissue. And, figuring it would be hilariously bad, or at least entertaining, I picked it up last week.

In her new introduction, Tyra Banks threatens offers to release T-shirts that say “I Survived All 576 Pages of Modelland” for readers who make it to the end. A T-shirt is the least you could do for me, Tyra, because I read your entire tome, and all I’ve gotten so far is a pounding headache. Modelland is, without a doubt, the most poorly written, bizarrely imagined novel I have ever read. But here’s the rub: Once I started it, I had to finish it. 

Say what you will about Tyra, but she’s a defining figure of ‘90s/2000s pop culture. America’s Next Top Model (unfortunately) raised my generation, and Tyra really was a groundbreaker: She was the first Black woman to appear on the covers of both GQ and the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. She was also scouted at just 15 years old, the same age as her protagonist, and thrust into the notoriously predatory world of modeling.

So I decided to approach Modelland with two minds. One was screaming about how utterly ridiculous it was. But the other wondered: What if, buried beneath all the acronyms, clichés, and vaguely offensive depictions, Modelland actually reveals more about the modeling industry, and what it does to the young women—Tyra included—who enter it, than a straightforward memoir ever could?

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Modelland follows Tookie De La Crème, a fifteen-year-old “Forgetta-Girl” with mismatched eyes, unruly hair, and a gigantic forehead, who lives in a dystopian world where supermodels are essentially gods. Every year, the most beautiful girls are selected to attend Modelland, a mysterious modeling school atop a mountain. Obviously, Tookie has no chance of getting picked, because, duh. Except she is picked, because, duh. And so are three other girls who don't fit the traditional beauty mold. How mysterious.

What follows is a mad mix of Harry Potter, The Hunger Games, and those scary thumb guys from Spy Kids, as the girls endure bizarre teachers, brutal classes, and sinister secrets. Meanwhile, Tookie’s mom and sister trek through a monster-filled wasteland to reach Modelland, convinced her sister should have been chosen instead. (Yes, this is where that monster made of instruments and limbs comes in.)

Along the way, we readers are subjected to a never-ending parade of absurdity. There’s a boys’ modeling school called Bestosterone. Everyone travels via zippers. Bad Intoxibellas are turned into literal cats. Everything—everything—is an acronym, including the buildings, which are literally named M, O, D, etc. Of course there are precious items called SMIZEs, named after Tyra’s signature “smile with your eyes” move. Sigh.

Beyond all the goofiness, however, there’s a lot of disturbing stuff in this book. Here is a world where a gift bestowed upon all the girls is the removal of their periods, and there’s an entire class dedicated to eating habits. There’s a competition where you have to model alongside a man in front of the whole school, wearing nothing but lingerie. And if you ever try to escape from Modelland, you’re punished by being visually aged fifty years. Remember, never aging past thirty is a superpower here.

Tookie isn’t just awkward and ugly, she’s also very much a child. There’s a bizarre scene when she accidentally starts sucking on her crush’s finger that I think was supposed to be funny but just gave me an icky feeling. Like The Hunger Games, this is a world where youth is juxtaposed against painful, violent, unnatural demands. Except The Hunger Games doesn’t exist. The modeling industry does.

In Modelland, beauty standards drive girls to madness and self-harm, eating disorders and vicious cruelty. And it’s not that hard to imagine that for a fifteen-year-old model in the 1990s, all of that felt true.

Perhaps, by accident, Tyra wrote a novel that actually does capture just how twisted the industry she grew up in was. 

Or maybe I’m grasping at straws. Maybe, if you spend nearly 600 pages with anything, you’ll force yourself to find meaning somewhere, somehow.

This is a nightmare of a novel to read, and under no circumstances should you pick it up. It’s really dreadful. But I also think writing it might have helped Tyra exorcise some demons, and I genuinely hope she found some healing in the process. And I’ll smize to that.

Clearly, not all celebrity-written novels are created equal. If you’re looking to read something by a recognizable name that won’t drive you up the wall, check out these two.

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Genevieve Nierman is an editor, writer, and interviewer with over a decade of experience in books and publishing, including roles at Little, Brown and Company and Alfred A. Knopf. She is currently Senior Books Content Manager at Pix Media, where she runs the flagship newsletter Book Pix. She lives in New York City with her orange cat, Oscar, and an ever-growing stack of books.